Screen Addiction Strategies for Kids - ADHD Parenting Tips

In today’s digital age, managing screen time is a significant challenge for parents of children with ADHD. The allure of video games, social media, and streaming platforms can lead to dysregulation and exacerbate ADHD symptoms.

I have not only worked within many households working with the family to manage struggling ADHD behaviours. But also ran a Gaming Orientated Group for youth with Neurodevelopmental Conditions such as Autism and ADHD.

And so I wanted to share my absolute golden must do rules in any households to minimize the dysregulation that is associated with screen time.

The 1.5-Hour Rule

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I can start a stop watch from the moment the kids (and adults) jump onto video games, and the second they become overly excited, start throwing insults, start getting upset and frustrated, or even just become derailed from their objective or goal within the game. Hit stop of the timer and sure enough, it's been one and a half hours. I've had other workers jaw's drop after seeing the consistency to this fixed time limit of regulation.

It's why I always encouraged during the gaming sessions that we get up and move, we go outside, we have a food break away from the computer tables.

And when at home, it's very much the same. They can return to the games after 15-30 minutes of a break, so long as it's a long enough break to get them reset.

If left beyond this threshold, both children and adults with ADHD tend to hit dysregulation, which can lead to increased irritability, hyperactivity, and difficulty transitioning away from screens. Fights begin between the kids, between the parents. The children get angry about transitioning as they've become locked on and likely to burn out earlier in the day than any of us would like.

Avoid Games Without Clear Endings

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Certain types of games are particularly problematic for individuals with ADHD. Those with ADHD already struggle with transitions. Building up that momentum and motivation to go from one thing to another. For adults, this can look as simple as making it out of the car to go inside at the end of the long day. But for kids, transitioning away from that game, oh boy you're in for a bad time. And if those games don’t have clear rounds or endings, such as Fortnite, Roblox, and various mobile games with loot crates, prizes, and coins, act as dopamine slot machines. There is no clear transitional period, and this makes your job as a parent all that much harder.

These games are designed to keep players engaged indefinitely, making it almost impossible to find a natural stopping point. It makes the developers a ton of money if they can trap you after all.

Eliminate Shorts, TikToks, and Reels

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Short-form video content, such as TikToks, YouTube Shorts, and Instagram Reels, should be eliminated from the screen time all together. These platforms provide a constant stream of quick, engaging content that can be incredibly stimulating for individuals with ADHD. The rapid, ever-changing nature of these videos can lead to overstimulation and make it difficult for individuals to focus on less stimulating tasks.

They are designed with the purpose of trapping and locking those on the platform.

Tiktok even has a built in function that when you hit the back button on an Android to leave their platform, it actually refreshes the video feed in a last attempt of trapping you again. If you waited a few seconds and hit the back button again, it'll just refresh it once more.

These platforms are not your friend, they are not designed to help your child regulate themselves. Their purpose is to make money off your viewing, they don't want to make it easy to leave, and they will use all the psychological tricks out there to keep you engaged.

Monitor YouTube and Game Streamers

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YouTube and game streaming platforms often feature content creators who engage in over-the-top, hyperactive behaviour. While entertaining, this type of content can rile up children with ADHD to unbelievable proportions. It's important to monitor and limit exposure to these channels, focusing instead on calmer, slower paced content or actual Netflix, Disney Plus shows that doesn’t contribute to heightened energy levels and impulsivity.

The times I've watched children's mood's shift when they've begun watching video game streamers, even if it's Minecraft based is mortifying. I have grown a strong dislike to the content after seeing the effects it has time and time and time again.

Structured Screen Time with Visual Cues

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Instead of allowing a set amount of screen time to be used whenever, allocate specific time slots for screen usage.

For example, rather than giving an hour of screen time to be used at any point, set a specific time such as "You can play from 5 pm to 6 pm."

This structure helps children understand when screen time is allowed and when it’s time to transition to other activities. It provides predictability. ADHD children can't monitor or manage time effectively as it is, it's part of the inherent deficits of the disorder.

And so when you provide them with a set amount of screen time to use throughout the length of a day, their inability to regulate seemingly anything (they're either all or nothing). This will NEVER go the way you want it too, or they want it too. Always asking for more time, or they left the screen on and it used up their time. Or just 5 more minutes. Or it cut them off at a pinnacle point in their game and, let's be honest. Cliffhangers suck.

Giving them a set time they can jump on and time they must jump off, with visual and audible reminders, while playing games with clear end points, and within an hour and a half.

And everything gets far easier.

ADHD screen addiction strategies parenting tips

Video Games Perfect and Recommended for ADHD Kids

Video games often get a bad rap, but for kids with ADHD, the right games can be super helpful. Cooperative video games, where players work together to achieve a common goal, are especially great for teaching teamwork and communication through parallel play.

Developing Cooperative Skills

Cooperative games require players to work as a team. For ADHD kids, this is a fantastic way to practice social skills. Whether they’re figuring out how to beat a level together or solving puzzles, these games push kids to talk to each other, share tasks, and help one another out.

Games specific with this teamwork focus in mind, won't let them run to far ahead before they realise they need the help from others to get through. I would often play through the Halo Campaigns with children, and it would always start the same way. They would run ahead guns blazing tell you to hurry up and trying to lone wolf the game. But this was often short lived as they got overrun and would have to wait to respawn to give it another go. It didn't take them long to catch on that they had to move at the same pace, and the kids that were impatient with your pace, after prompting, would understand to help you keep up to their pace. (Sometimes I did this intentionally, I'm a pro at Halo)

Building Stronger Connections

Playing video games with your child isn’t just fun; it’s a great way to build a stronger bond. Kids are more likely to listen and cooperate with someone they feel connected to. By playing games together, you create shared experiences and victories, which strengthens your relationship. You learn how to talk to each other, you share laughter, you share frustration at the same thing, and that's important for children that always feel that they ARE the focus of your frustration. You develop inside jokes, and most importantly, you get to show how to handle frustrating and overwhelming situations for them to mirror.

Why Connection is Key

You can’t effectively manage behaviours in a child you don’t have a connection with. Kids need to feel understood and supported. Playing cooperative games together shows them you’re interested in their world and willing to be part of it. This helps build that all-important connection.

Real-Life Experience

I haven't just played cooperative games one on one in sessions, but I ran a gaming group focused on cooperative gameplay in mind, with groups of 4-12 kids playing together. The results were amazing. The kids not only got better at working as a team and communicating but also made new friends and connections. Watching them support each other and celebrate their wins together was incredibly rewarding. I got to see children that found it difficult to relate to others find common ground, and a pathway to other conversations and other interests.

Cooperative Games List

(Use discretion on age ratings and maturity level)

• Trine 3

• Lets Go Pikachu

• Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3

• Portal 2

• Hyrule Warriors: Age Of Calamity

• Left 4 Dead 1/2

• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons (On Nintendo Switch for Coop)

• Halo Master Chief Collection

• It Takes Two

• Unraveled

• DOTA2 / League Of Legends

• Lethal Company

• Borderlands series

• Lego Video Games

• Fall Guys

• Among Us

• Diablo 3

• Luigi's Mansion 3

• A Way Out

5 Steps After ADHD Behavioural Incidents: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers

Behavioural incidents can be challenging, especially for parents and caregivers of children with ADHD. Knowing how to respond effectively can make a significant difference in managing these situations. Here is a deeper dive of the five steps to follow after a behavioural incident, as outlined in the below infographic:

Step 1: Identify the Cause for Behaviour

The first step is to understand why the behaviour occurred. Identifying the trigger can help address the root cause rather than just the symptoms. Was your child tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or frustrated by something? Recognizing these triggers is crucial for preventing similar incidents in the future. If we only ever focused on the reaction, we would never solve the trigger and therefore never prevent incidents from occurring in the first place.

Step 2: If Unsure, Ask and Help with Expressing Themselves

If the cause isn't immediately apparent, ask your child about what happened. Encourage them to express their feelings and thoughts. Sometimes, children may struggle to articulate their emotions, so it's essential to be patient and provide support in helping them find the right words.

Step 3: Discuss Ways the Trigger Can Be Avoided for Future

Once you've identified the cause, discuss strategies to avoid similar triggers in the future. This could involve adjusting routines, creating a more supportive environment by having them tell you when they have had enough, or maybe only playing a triggering video game in the living room when someone is there to deescalate them if they are getting frustrated. Involving your child in this conversation empowers them and makes them feel heard and understood.

Step 4: If Punishment Is Needed, Discuss Appropriate Punishment with Their Input

If punishment is necessary, ensure it is fair and related to the behaviour, not an ADHD symptom. For example, don’t punish a child for being impulsive or emotionally dysregulated. Instead, focus on behaviours that are within their control. Also remember that natural consequences may be all that is needed.

If the child smashes their phone, Nintendo Switch or game controller. The natural consequence is that they now, no longer have a working device because of their actions.

But such actions that were, premediated, vindictive, or actions where someone else has been physically harmed. These are actions arguable to be beyond that of ADHD symptoms.

(Keeping in understanding that impulsive actions and hitting someone may overlap.) Discuss the consequences with your child and get their input to ensure they understand and agree with the punishment.

Step 5: Move On and Don’t Dwell

After addressing the incident, it’s important to move on and not dwell on it. Holding onto past mistakes can create a negative atmosphere and discourage your child. Instead, focus on positive reinforcement and celebrate their successes and improvements.