6 Unseen ways 'School Can't' affects parents

Let’s talk about what really happens when school isn’t working for your child.

Not enough people realise this, but when a neurodivergent child struggles in school, whether it's refusal, suspension, constant behaviour reports, or being sent home early, the impact doesn’t stop at the school gate.

It lands directly on the shoulders of parents. On our time. Our jobs. Our mental health. Our careers. Our finances.

And that pressure? It can be relentless.

Here are 6 Unseen ways 'School Can't' affects parents:

1. Many of us simply can’t work full-time

Full-time jobs often demand stability, predictability, and availability, three things that vanish the second your child struggles with school ‘refusal,’ behavioural needs, or is suspended for the third time in a fortnight.

Meetings don’t schedule themselves around meltdown recovery time. You can’t put “crisis” on pause just because your shift starts at 9.

2. We get pushed into low-paid or insecure work

We need these flexible roles because we have to, not because we’re choosing freedom over career. That means part-time roles, casual gigs, or self-employment.

But these roles often comes with a cost, no sick leave, no job security, no backup. And sometimes, no money left at the end of the week. And that's if you can GET to work.

3. For every lost shift, there are more costs

Every missed shift. Every rescheduled meeting. Every specialist appointment. It all adds up, in therapy bills, sensory tools, transport costs, and time.

We earn less and spend more. And let’s be real, government supports rarely come close to covering the gap, let alone any form of support for ADHD from the Government.

4. The emotions and anxiety plays on our mind

This one gets missed all the time.

The exhaustion. The stress. The mental health strain. Sleep-deprivation, advocacy fatigue, and the constant worry... it’s not background noise. It’s a full-blown weight on our shoulders, every single day.

Even when we can work, we aren't always present in mind. We’re doing it with emotional baggage most people never see.

5. It's hard to find sympathy

Most workplaces don’t have policies, or compassion, for this level of invisible responsibility. It's not very well understood or excused to cancel a meeting because your child needs picking up for the 3rd time this week. We’re either forced to hide what we’re juggling, or risk losing our jobs for being honest about it.

6. The long-term impact is never grasped

This isn’t just about the now. It's about what this means long-term.

Especially for solo parents with no backup, the risks aren’t just emotional, they’re financial and structural.

So let’s be clear...

Parent carers aren’t just “tired parents.” We’re doing two full-time jobs, one of which doesn’t come with a paycheck, a break, or a safety net.

And we’re expected to show up at work like we don’t have kids… Then show up at home like we don’t have jobs.

This isn’t a minor inconvenience. It’s a massive, systemic flaw that punishes people for stepping up to do vital, unpaid work, and it’s time that changed.

Caring for our neurodivergent children are sometimes, full time jobs. And it’s time the world started recognising that.